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Why You need All Those Shoes

Posted on Wed, 14 January, 2015

It’s not Spring yet, but I’ve begun to clean out my closet, cupboards and various other nooks and crannies where things pile up and become overwhelming.  Mostly I do this now so I can procrastinate from other responsibilities I don’t want to be bothered with.  There I’ve said it – now getting back to topic.

Cleaning out the closet reminds me of what I said to myself last year during this ritual: My God, I have many, many shoes.  There is really no need for this type of accumulation, but there are so many really wonderful shoes out there that it kind of needs to happen (insert white privilege here).  I tried to cull the masses down and was able to move a few to the donate pile, but it got me thinking about the reasons women need to have multiple pairs of shoes.  Here goes.

First, sneakers.  Exercise is essential to life: the quality of it as well as its duration.  If you have kids you may choose this option for the obligatory theme park excursions, unless you’re Sofia Vergara (Gloria) going to Disneyland in Louboutins.  You may also have subsets of this category for golf, hiking, spinning, etc.  Go forth and be merry.

Second, date night shoes.  Heels of all sizes and colors to accentuate your best feeling about yourself as you step out on the town.  It’s in this category that we really feel the best versions of ourselves as women.  Shoes are powerful mood shapers, and here it influences sexy, sophistication, and confidence.

Third, work shoes.  Please don’t go into auto pilot in this category.  As I established above, shoes can shape your mood, so boring, sensible shoes are not always a good choice.  Don’t talk to me about walking from the subway to work, you can work out those details.  But shoes with character make your character come alive, and bring out aspects of personality that maybe you don’t use enough.  This is probably the largest category I have in my collection.

Play shoes – not your kids play – but shoes you wear on the weekend or on vacation.  Sandals, flip flops, snow boots, sneakers you don’t exercise in but use for schlepping kids to practices, running errands, etc.  I have a pair of ugg sneakers that I use constantly for the later examples: indispensable.

Winter boots are trendy now.  Trends don’t always last but these seem to have and I think for good reason.  Many women I know both personally and professionally in my practice feel they sometimes are in “battle” during their day. Obligations to work, family, etc. are taxing on satisfaction, coping and create stress.  Frankly I look at the boot craze as a kind of battle armor cause it makes you feel you can get through something, literally supported as you root to the ground.  Let me alert your attention to the cowboy boot and suggest you investigate.

Slippers I believe are underrated.  I love to wear slippers because that is the ultimate in relaxation  I think it important that you feel relaxed in your home on days when school gets canceled for weather, holidays when you are happy to remain lethargic and before bed when you should really be letting go.  Plain socks on a cold floor does not support relaxation.

And finally, kid-friendly shoes.  By this I mean the ones you wear because you can keep up with the wee rascals.  They can step on your feet and throw up on them and you will not be pissed because, well, you’ve just been thrown up on.  Kids projectile vomit without warning and for sometimes no reason.  These shoes will save your sanity, as well s the old t-shirt you pair with them for the same reason; you don’t give a shit about them.

So, the outcome is shoes are important because you live your life in them: all the experiences, good and bad. The beliefs about yourself range from positive to irrational throughout the day depending on the circumstances and people involved.  Take stock of the shoes you feel best in when you know you’re dealing with something difficult and see how that transforms your belief in yourself when dealing with conflict or challenges.

See how I can rationalize keeping all my shoes…..?

One Response to Why You need All Those Shoes

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A blog written by a hip, sometimes irreverent shrink who’s been around the block and calls it like it is

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