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Intuition Isn’t Crazy

Posted on Tue, 30 October, 2018

The third characteristic of Parental Identity Discovery™ brings us to another felt-sense experience, much like the gut instinct in the “stranger characteristic” – intuition. At some point everyone is made aware of that felt sense in a striking, unsettling manner.  For me it was an other-worldly whisper in my ear that my dad wasn’t really my dad.  I’ve met with many parental discoverers now and most will share a similar story – something out of body, wondering if it was an hallucination. It is a knowing that you’ve never been more sure of – deep in your core, unwavering. The combination of this, the surreal nature of the news and the fluctuations in mood from grief may lead you to worry you’re losing your mind.  You’re not, you’re just experiencing a very condensed period of grief, extreme emotion and perceptual anomalies.

In his 1971 book, Journeys Out of the Body, Robert Monroe coined the phrase “out-of-body experience”, referencing the sensation of leaving your body and returning to it. People can experience this in meditation or most often with hallucinatory substances. The extrasensory perceptions unified in the majority of the NPE stories seem better accounted for by a combined psychological and neurological explanation.  Whether you had a sensation outside your body like I did or simply a strong gut feeling, there’s no denying we as a group experience something different than our non-npe counterparts.

Intuition Isn't Crazy

Medically speaking, anytime you have an extrasensory abnormality, like my hallucinated whisper, your mental health is considered at risk; most often seen in Schizophrenia, Bipolar Disorder, etc.  I’m not aware of a larger than statistically expected percentage of acute mental illness in the NPE population.  Since we as a group are able to lead normal, functional lives with single incidents of perception anomaly, I think extrasensory perceptions may be misleading as well.  For lack of more appropriate language I’m referring to it as highly intuitive. And intuition isn’t crazy.

Even though you may have been raised in a loving family, the moment this discovery sinks in, you may question your place there; another type of out of body experience. A client of mine, Debbie (name changed for confidentiality), explained, “It’s like I don’t feel I have the right to be in the family, like I’ve stolen someone’s place.”  The stories of your birth certificate/adoptive family’s past may no longer feel applicable to you.  This is a normal part of the process because you are suddenly wrenched from the narrative that defined you. 

We cannot tolerate being adrift without definition of who we are, so you may have experienced a sort of compulsion to identify with something – especially the newly identified biological family.  It’s the process of reclaiming identity.

I’ll discuss identity in the fourth characteristic of Parental Identity Discovery™, coming soon.

Intuition Isn't Crazy

Jodi Klugman-Rabb is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist in Marin and Napa Counties.  She specializes in connecting with clients on a humorous and practical level, helpful when specializing in Parental Identity Discovery™, ADHD and trauma.  She uses EMDR to treat traumas and fears of all types. She is a wife of 19+ years and the mom of two funny and awesome kids. Connect with Jodi on her website, Sex, Lies & The Truth Podcast, Facebook or Parental Identity specific site.

3 Responses to Intuition Isn’t Crazy

  1. B says:

    It’s as if you wrote this article about me, or especially for me. I’ve always called myself the back sheep of the family, I even joked with close friends that I’m the milk mans daughter. Yesterday, I found out that I am in fact, not my fathers daughter. Even though Some part of me had suspected for years that I may not be his, it hit me like a ton of bricks. My hands were shaking, my teeth were chattering, my heart was pounding out of my chest. I have never experienced anything like it. Here I am, less than 25 hours later and I believe I am still in shock.

    • Jodi Klugman-Rabb says:

      Wow, of course you’re in shock! The shock will last a while, and you’ll probably cycle through loads of grief; all to be expected. I hope you have a good support system, even if it’s one person – you will need it. Keep an eye out for the remaining posts in the series – either here or on my Psychology Today blog Finding Family.

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