Call Jodi at 415.652.7644  |  |  contact
  • FB
  • Linkedin
  • Feed
  • YouTube
  • Pinterest

Parental Identity Discovery

Formerly known as Non-Paternity Events, I coined Parental Identity Discovery™ to give deeper, clearer meaning to a dynamic and evolving experience of searching for who you are. Discovering new family occurs through adoptions or learning long-held family secrets from at-home DNA tests like 23andMe and

You’ve heard relatives joke about someone being adopted, not fitting in or being the milkman’s kid.  Perhaps you have had a lingering sense you can’t fully describe or understand, but you know somehow you don’t fit in.  You know something is missing.  This is Parental Identity Discovery™ and the topic of my new podcast coming soon, Sex, Lies & The Truth.


How it Works

I believe this phenomenon is unique because of the basic human need it calls into question: our identity.  Identity creates a sense of belonging, value and purpose. If you have just learned you have a different parent than you were raised to believe, or a secret sibling you may relate to the changes in identity and belonging that follow.

Whether learning you were adopted or finding surprising results from a “fun” DNA test you got for Christmas, identity confusion is expected and normal in discovering new family and the stories that go with it.  All the family stories that define us over our lifespan can be called into question, dramatically changing how you see yourself and where you belong.

Grief and loss become strong influencers as well, cycling you through all five stages of grief, questioning relationships and sense of self. Anger is a very normal part of this process.

EMDR is my treatment of choice for addressing the negative core beliefs that come from betrayals, falsehoods and changing identity.  This is a special kind of life transition that will affect everyone differently based upon developmental stage and support system.


The Fallout

Support systems are often ill-equipped to handle secrets of this magnitude coming to light. Loved ones will mistakenly state something harmful without knowing it, or lash out to prevent any further changes or discovery.

Exploring this major life transition in therapy can help you make sense of the chaos and feel good about your new story.


My interest and experience in Parental Identity Discovery™ is personal. Read My Story here and listen to the podcast.

In Sex Lies & The Truth my partner, Christina Fitzgibbons, and I interview adoptees, and people like me who have discovered life changing events like falsified parentage and secret family members.




Have you discovered a new parent from adoption or falsified parentage?
Have you experienced a major change in sense of self and strong feelings of grief?
Questions about DNA results or how to find true relatives and family history?
Contact My Hoodie Project for professionalism, dedicated and honest work and friendly support throughout the journey.

Marin Appointments

Napa Appointments